Payroll Jokes

Payroll Jokes
"The wages of sin is death. . . ."
Sure don't want any overtime on that project.



Political Jokes

How Government Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said," Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said," How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said," How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said," How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Congress said," Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said," We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.

A Letter from the Automated Payroll Processing System

To: Employee
From: Automated Payroll Processing System
Date: January 4, 2010
Subject: Vacation Pay

Dear Valued Employee:

Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service.

Please either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office and your next pay check will reflect payment of $8,277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,200 months.

Sincerely,

Your Automated Payroll Processing System